As I look forward to a new year, and yet another move in a few short months, I am doing my best to take advantage of the present calm in my life at the moment. My goal is to try and get my commission queue completely cleared out before I have to move again in May. Because, if history serves, another move just means things will get unstable again, and it's really difficult to get any work done in those conditions. And you have all been waiting far, far too long.
It's rather unorthodox of me, but I started this time at the END of my commission queue, with single-piece commissions that I knew would be easier for me to get out of the way. And before that, I took some time to do some fun projects for myself, to remind myself why I love doing this work. I think a lot of my problem in getting going again, beside general instability in my life, has been that working at the level I used to ended up burning me out so badly, a lot of the joy has been sapped out of my work. I am so hard on myself, that I mentally recoil at the idea of exhausting myself the way I once did. Though I only worked for myself, as an employer, I was brutal and pushed myself way too far. And I think I did some real damage.
I figured I would take a page from my supporters, and try to be kinder and more patient with myself. I need to slow down. I need to stop putting myself under so much pressure. I know many of you treasure my work, but none of it is worth more than my well-being. It took having another human being relying on me, and a support network that was truly healthy and nurturing, for me to realize how poorly I'd been treating myself. And as I started to see what I'd been doing to myself, I started to notice more and more how readily people in our society are willing to work themselves literally to death. Mothers returning to work two days after a C-section, managers returning to their jobs the day after a near heart attack, celebrities dying of overdose on pain killers because they insist on working despite broken bones. I was even watching an episode of Star Trek where a character was sick, but so dedicated to their political work, they worked themselves to the grave, and were touted as a noble hero for it. Seriously, what is the point of such a "work ethic" that promotes personal masochism? I don't want to shorten my life for the sake of my work.
Point is, I am establishing new boundaries for myself with relation to my work. No more sleepless nights binging through work. No more working until I am nodding off with a paintbrush in my hand. No more getting so absorbed in my work that I forget to eat all day. No more unlimited commission queues. No more caving in to demand when my heart is not into producing the supply. No more saying "Yes" to every request.
Unfortunately, my remaining workload does not reflect these boundaries or values. But I am still committed to fulfilling my obligations, as always. All told, I have a total of 10 remaining commissions, though many of them are multi-piece commissions, and they are all at least partially completed. Hopefully this is the last time I beg everyone's patience as I finish these. Please do not message me to ask if I am still doing your commission, or remind me that it still needs to be done. The answer is yes, and I have not forgotten. Please only message me if you 1.) want to discuss canceling your commission and getting a refund, 2.) want to update your contact information, 3.) you don't see your commission in the Trello queue, or a shipped item has not arrived, or 4.) you have a custom from me that needs repair.
Moving forward, I will be more focused on these boundaries between work and my life. Once my commission queue is complete, I will be able to hit the ground running with my first Patreon project, as I now have enough patrons to get started! I am looking forward to interacting with my fans more through Patreon.
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