Okay... SO! I have finally gotten my schedule arranged so that I have enough time to work on ponies during the week, and I pretty much have my entire weekend freed up for ponies as well. No more second jobs, no more overtime at my new job, just pony business. I have to be working on customs constantly for the next two months in order to adequately prepare for the upcoming GRAND GALLOPING GALA [link], so while I'm at it, I might as well work on your commission too! For more details about commissioning your custom, see this journal entry: [link]

Every once in a while I'll get a comment on here that's something along the lines of, "Wow, your work is really great! I want something just like that! But I guess you're pretty amazing so you're too bogged down with commissions/too busy for me...." I've had enough of this stinkin' thinkin'! OF COURSE I HAVE TIME FOR YOU! Don't be too intimidated by my popularity to ask for a commission. I'm only a minor celebrity, after all; I still have to work for a living. And I'm here to work for you! So send me a note, tell me what you'd like, and I'll see what I can do and give you a quote. If you look to my commission queue, I have only 3 active commissions, and I'll have those done lickety split. Don't be afraid to give me more work! It's a pony job, but someone's gotta pony!

I have good news, and I have bad news. The bad news first.

I recently got a new full-time job (WOO!) Why is this the bad news, you ask? Well, it's not bad new for me, per se. Just bad news for customers. I've been told I complete and ship commissions faster than a lot of other artists, and unfortunately with a full-time big-kid job taking up most of my week (plus my baby taking up all my attention in his waking hours), I'm going to be a bit slower getting commissions done. You may have noticed that I sometimes take all week to reply to notes as well. That's just me, not even having time to check messages. I know my customers are used to more prompt service than this, so I beg your patience now that I've got a bunch of adult responsibilities.

One other piece of bad news: I have put in my 2 weeks notice at my part-time job at the toy store, so I will no longer have a discount on my bait material. In addition to this, I have noticed that the brushable toys being released in the new packaging are about $2 more than the same toys used to be. As a result, you may see a slight hike in customs prices.

Onto the good news! I will be attending my first convention, the Grand Galloping Gala [link] in Tampa! Why do you care? Because I'll have a vendor booth, that's why! So if you're planning on going, swing by, say hi, and check out the merch. Bring your wallet!

Another note: I still have Christmas gift wrap available, but of course it's not Christmas so you don't want that. They now have G4 non-seasonal gift wrap, which I was really excited to discover (for the longest time, stores only carried G3 gift wrap). If you're interested, non-seasonal G4 gift wrap is now available on all commissions for just $3.

For more information on commissions and prices, be sure to check this journal entry: [link]

I managed to get my hands on some G4 pony wrapping paper!



If you're commissioning a pony as a gift or buying one from me through ebay ([link], you can have your pony gift wrapped for $3. Just let me know when you commission your pony or checkout in through ebay.

Last night we had the misfortune of having a tree fall in on our home from all the wind we got from Hurricane Sandy. I started an Indiegogo campaign to help raise the funds we need for repairs. [link] Please have a look and make a donation. If you can't contribute, please help by passing it on to a few friends! We can use all the help we can get right now.

I try to help take care of as much of the little household emergencies as I can, but this goes waaaay beyond my budget. I am, however, offering a custom pony for our highest contributors. It's the very least I can do.

Once again I've complete my queue and I'm looking for more commissions! The only thing I have left to work on is a trade commission, but other than that, I'm completely open. So if there was anything you wanted to get before the holiday season gets into full swing, or before the new season kicks off, now's a great time. /)^3^(\

I just listed a bunch of new customs on my ebay and you can see them all here: [link] I have show-accurate blindbag sets available for sale, as well as individual show-accurate blindbags, such as Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, and even Big Mac. I also still have some Wonderbolts blindbags available. There is one Fashion Style Wonderbolts Derpy Hooves looking for a home as well.

The turnover on commissions is a little slower now than it was before. While the baby has been pretty easy to manage, it's sometimes hard to sit down and get work done when he's awake since he demands a lot of attention (I know, I've spoiled him already). I may never get back to my 2-weeks-or-less turnover time, but believe me, I'm still hard at work over here so don't be afraid to put in an order.

Want to win a free custom? For all you artists out there, this is your lucky day! I opened a drawing contest on ponychan, but it closes on the 29th, so check it out: [link]

From the thread:
"So here's the deal: To enter, you must draw Fiver's OC (which I have already designed, pic related) either as a baby or a colt, either by himself or with his mother, Princess Gryph. Simple enough!

RULES:
1.) Your post must include a name (i.e.: cannot be anonymous) and contact information - either an email I can get ahold of you through, or a deviantArt account you use regularly I can send a note to. If you do not include these things, your entry will not be considered.
2.) No paraspriting. Seriously, I don't want to see any weird R34 mother-son stuff or gore or anything crazy like that. Just, ew guys, ew.
3.) Fiver MUST be in baby/colt form, with no cutie mark. No adult pony, no cutie mark; he's too young for that yet.
4.) Entries must be posted by Sunday, August 26th at 12 noon EST. Late entries will not be considered. No exceptions.

PRIZES:
1st Place: $30 store credit (price of a basic brushable custom) + free shipping
2nd Place: $20 store credit (price of a blindbag repaint) + free shipping
3rd Place: Prize package with lots of goodies
Honorable Mentions: Free shipping on any commission (discounted shipping for non-U.S. residents)"

Good luck, and happy drawing!

I just finished up the last commission in my queue, so I am cleared up and ready for more! Please see this journal entry for more details about commissions and pricings: [link]

I have one Fashion Style Octavia and another Fashion Style Vinyl Scratch with goggles, headphones, and turn table, both of which only need to be rehaired. In addition to that, I have 5 other Vinyl Scratchs with just goggles that will be available for sale soon. If you're interested in any of those, contact me soon. Otherwise, once they're rehaired, they'll be going on ebay with the rest.

Speaking of which, I've sold a number of my fixed price ponies on ebay, but there's still plenty to go around, so check it out and grab one of your very own! [link]

I'll be visiting the post office shortly (with 11 packages!), so if there's something you're waiting on, expect to see it soon!

It's been almost 6 weeks and I'm feeling pretty good -- Fiver sleeps really well, and my body seems all healed up. I am almost completely done with the commissions I had waiting on me, so I feel like now is a good time to open up commissions again. Yay!

So if you've been eagerly awaiting the time when you could make a request, now's the time to do it! And for a refresher, check this journal entry to get an idea of pricings: [link]

I'm also planning on liquidating my current inventory and popping it up on ebay as "Buy It Now". When I do, you can find them here: [link] Until then, though, if you want to skip the ebay bullshit and just buy something directly from me, this is what I have in stock right now:

Brushable Octavia (2)
Brushable Filly Applejack
Brushable Filly Dinky Hooves
Brushable Zecora

Blindbag Big Mac
Blindbag Braeburn
Blindbag Celestia
Blindbag LittlePip
Blindbag Morning Glory
Blindbag Octavia (2)
Blindbag Screw Loose (2)
Blindbag Screwball (3)
Blindbag Show-Accurate Fluttershy

Fashion Style Derpy Hooves

I will be expanding my inventory in the next couple of weeks in preparation for yet another Central Florida Bronies meetup, so expect to see new and exciting things soon.

On June 26, 2012 at 7:31 AM, after 27 hours of labor, in the middle of tropical storm Debby, Jesse Clyde Millican V (aka "Fiver") was born. He weighed in at 7 lbs, 6 oz, measuring 20.5 inches, with a full head of hair. He's got my nose, his daddy's shoulder hair, and a nice big noggin.



My thanks go out to my friend Ashley Inguanta for doing photography at the birth (the above photo is by her). Many thanks go as well to my partner Jesse, my supportive mommy-friend Liz, my mother, and all the midwives and staff at Birthways Family Birthing Center in Sarasota, Florida. I got the natural childbirth I wanted.... It was certainly a trial, and I was so exhausted, but I did it. Considering it took 10 months to make and 27 hours to deliver, I think its my finest custom work yet.

So, obviously, commissions are still very closed, and if you're waiting for a piece to get finished, it might be a little longer so I beg your patience. The midwives don't want me lifting anything or even walking around for a couple weeks, but recovery should be swift since I didn't even need any stitches or have any major complications or anything. I will be able to work on customs during postpartum recovery since the work isn't physically demanding, but it's going to be a little while before we get settled down enough to start the work again. I have a couple that are completed now that I just need to take pictures of and drop in the mail, so I'll do those as soon as I can.

Well it's getting about that time. I'm currently 4 days from my due date and my midwives say this little monster could drop any day now. Besides that, I've been really distracted and/or tired lately and haven't been able to focus as much as I usually do on my active queue. So, it seems like the time is ripe for me to officially cut off commissions for a little while.

If you were considering commissioning something, don't fret. I'll be back in the game in a couple months, or at least that's the plan. You're welcome to drop me a line and discuss potential commissions with me, and I'll be happy to let you know as soon as commissions open up again. Or if you wanted to ask me any questions, I'll still be around to answer.

If you currently have a commission waiting in the queue, be assured it will get done. Most commissions at this point have at least been started on, and you have my guarantee that they WILL be completed. But if the baby gets here first, please understand there may be a greater delay. I also apologize if my communication has been less than stellar lately. Again, I've just been really distracted and haven't been keeping up quite as well as usual.

With that said, I'm gonna go try to wrap up some of the commissions in this queue right now. Thank you, everyone, for your understanding and patience.

Right now commissions are getting done in 2 weeks or less -- which means I whipped right through that last batch of orders and the current queue is at zero. Were you thinking about commissioning a custom you've seen and liked, a custom you've never seen and want to see made, or a custom of your OC? Now's the perfect time! Send a note and let's get started! For more information about commissions and pricing, please see this journal entry: [link] And remember, in about a month or two, you may not have the opportunity to order a commission from me for.... a while... D:

If you just wanted to browse my wares, here's what's on the shelves... I will be attending the Central Florida Bronies Meetup on the May 5th ([link], so if you're interested in any of these, make sure you send me a note. Otherwise, many of them are likely to get sold off at the meetup. (Lots of new Fallout Equestria and Project Horizons ponies, so don't miss out!)

Brushable Adult Princess Luna
Brushable Derpy
Brushable Raindrops (2)
Brushable Vinyl Scratch (2)
Brushable Octavia (3)
Brushable Filly Dinky Hooves
Brushable Filly Trixie
Brushable Filly Applejack
Brushable Zecora (3)

Blindbag Derpy (6)
Blindbag Big Mac
Blindbag Celestia
Blindbag LittlePip (2)
Blindbag Blackjack (2)
Blindbag Velvet Remedy (3)
Blindbag Morning Glory (3)
Blindbag Calamity (3)
Blindbag Octavia (3)
Blindbag Vinyl Scratch
Blindbag Screw Loose (4)
Blindbag Screw Ball (4)
Blindbag Show-Accurate Rainbow Dash (4)
Blindbag Show-Accurate Fluttershy (4)
Blindbag Show-Accurate Applejack (2)
Blindbag Orangette (Central Florida Bronies Mascot) (4)

Fashion Style Octavia
Fashion Style Derpy Hooves

Custom Gummy Standing (2)
Custom Gummy Sitting

Send me a note if you'd like to make an offer!

Seeing how my baby is due in mid-June, I may be closing commissions starting some time in May. My current queue is very short, so now is a very good time to order any customs you want -- blindbags, brushables, fashion styles, sculpted hair, anything! For more details about pricing, please see this journal entry: [link] . Once you're ready to order, just send me a note or email me and we can get started.

I just got finished moving and have settled into my new home. My workspace for custom making is all set up and I just got back to work today. And since I've been working very few hours at my regular job, commissions are getting done very quickly.

I've been feeling 100% through this entire pregnancy, so I don't expect my productivity to change at all until the baby arrives. At that time, the baby will probably consume all my attention for a month or two, and I probably won't be able to get any customs work done at all. If any commissions are incomplete by that time, or if the baby comes early and there are incomplete orders, I still intend to get all orders done. It just may take a little longer. But if the delay is too much for anyone, I am always willing to do refunds.

Want a custom, but don't feel like waiting around for a commission? Here's what's currently on tap:

Brushable Derpy
Brushable Raindrops (2)
Blindbag Derpy
Blindbag Big Mac
Blindbag Celestia
Blindbag Show-Accurate Fluttershy
Blindbag Show-Accurate Pinkie Pie
Blindbag Show-Accurate Rarity
Custom Gummy (2)
Brushable Adult Princess Luna
Blindbag Blackjack
Blindbag Homage

Send me a note to make an offer on any of these.

I am very excited to announce the availability of CUSTOM FILLIES/COLTS! Before, I only had unicorn fillies/colts available for sale, but I have now ordered several boxes of the PONY SCHOOL PALS playset online and expect them to arrive within a week. These commissions will be first-come/first-serve, as I do not know how readily this set will be available in the future (though I hope it will be easier to find soon)

In addition, I now have ALTERNATE POSE CUSTOMS available for commission. These are basically brushable ponies with alternate poses (one front leg lifted) as seen on Rarity in the CAROUSEL BOUTIQUE playset and Cheerilee in the PONY SCHOOL PALS playset. These are available upon request.

For anyone who has commissions a custom, or who may be interested in commissioning one in the future, I've tried to streamline the process of communicating the status of orders by adding a queue list to my dA page (4th box down in the right column). Here I list all my commissions in order of priority, and their current status. Any order listed as COMPLETE has either been shipped or will be shipped soon.

In the next box down in the same column, you can also find a list of in-stock inventory. These are customs that are available for sale. A green bullet () means it has not been claimed, a red bullet () means it has been claimed (but may not have been paid for yet), and a red bullet with a link means it is available for auction on eBay. Here is the current list of in-stock customs:

Brushable Derpy
Brushable Raindrops (2)
Blindbag Derpy
Blindbag Big Mac
Blindbag Luna S1 [link]
Blindbag Luna S2
Blindbag Celestia
Custom Gummy (2)
Custom Opal

If you are interested in any of these, please send a note with your inquiry. If you're not interested in making an offer at this time, you may see them listed on eBay at some time in the future.

For more details about ordering customs, please see my last journal entry: [link]

I am actively taking commissions for custom My Little Ponies (mainly G4 brushables, fashion, and blind bags, though I'm willing to do other generations as well). If you are thinking about getting a custom MLP anywhere, please think of me first. Your commission will help me reach my goal of paying off part of my student loans by Christmas! Even if you are not interested in commissioning a pony, but would like to help me reach this goal, there are lots of ways you can help (see the end of this journal for more details).

If you'd like to shop around and see what's available, check out what I have available on eBay: [link]

For those of you interested in commissioning a pony, here is an idea of my pricing:

Basic brushable - $30
Fashion Style - $75
Repaints - $20 and up
Accessories - $5 and up
Priority/Rush! - +$10
Discounts are always available if you provide a base or other supplies!
MLP Gift Wrap (seasonal and non-seasonal) - $3


Ready to commission your pony? Here's how to do it:

1.) ORDER: Send me a note on DeviantArt or, if you aren't a member, send me an email at GryphynBloodheart@gmail.com, with the details of the pony you would like to commission and what you are expecting or willing to spend on it. I will usually reply within 24 hours. We will discuss the details of the commission and agree on a price. At this point you decide what kind of shipping you want.

2.) PAYMENT: Paypal is best, but I will accept check or money order in some circumstances. For bronies in the Tampa Bay area, a local pickup can also be arranged to save on shipping. You must pay a percentage up-front to cover the cost of materials, and the rest can be paid later. But for rush, and for OC customs, I prefer full payment up-front.

3.) THE COMMISSION: Depending on the item, I may send pictures of parts as I go along for your approval. But for all ponies, I try to send pictures of the finished product to ensure your satisfaction before shipping. I'm willing to make some adjustments within reason, but if I'm unable to meet your standards, I can issue a refund, though material costs may be deducted depending on the product.

4.) SHIPPING: For most ponies, I charge $3.99 for shipping. I usually use USPS, but if you want UPS or FedEx shipment, you may have to cover a higher shipping expense. I expect you to decide what kind of shipping you want early on, and whether or not you want tracking or insurance included. If you decide later on in the process that you want extra shipping services, you may have to wait for your payment to clear before I can ship your pony. And YES, I will ship internationally (though it costs a bit more!)

5.) CONTINUED SERVICE: I want to know that your pony has found a happy new home! Let me know what you think of your pony, tell me if there are any problems with shipping or damages; I care and want to know that you are completely satisfied. I want you to be able to recommend my services to other bronies. Once you receive your pony, please take the time to comment on this journal and let others know about your experience.


WANT TO MAKE A DONATION?
If you're not interested in commissioning a pony, but would like to help me reach my goal, there are lots of things you can do! You can always donate money, but you can also donate DeviantArt subscriptions and points, materials (ponies for bases, sculpting material, Toys-"R"-Us and craft store coupons and gift cards, paints, brushes, bubble envelopes, etc). Just send me a note or email me. Material donations help to keep my expenses down, and help me to save up faster!

CONTRIBUTORS
Central Florida Bronies: have been wonderful customers, supportive friends, and even helpful understudies in pony-making
Bronies of LL: have provided seed money for this creative venture and continued encouragement and business
donated 6 month DeviantArt subscription! Thank you!
has donated 2,000 DeviantArt points! Thank you!
has donated 1 month DeviantArt subscription! Thank You!

As you've surely noticed, I've kind of fallen out of my little writing schedule. I got a little sidetracked once my job started giving me more hours. Then I started doing custom ponies.

I originally started doing the customs as a way to raise money so that I would have a little bit of cash to spend to enter my writing in contests. Unfortunately, all the pony making has taken all my writing time from me, so I have nothing to enter into any contests right now anyway. I think now instead I'm going to focus on using the profits to pay off my student loans, which I keep getting phone calls about every day...

But seeing how the new season of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is just around the corner (September 17th), and I've refined my technique to the point that I'm confident enough to put my customs on eBay ([link], I've decided to put my writing on the backburner for a few months and focus on making customs for the brony community. This is going to be a little difficult, since I'll have to juggle commissions and heavy hours at work in preparation for moving to a new toy store and getting ready for Christmas.... but I think I can handle it. If nothing else, I'll be making enough money to keep the debt collectors out of my hair for a little while.

If you are interested in commissioning a custom or OC pony, send me a note with the details. Keep an eye on the polls I post also, as I use those the help decide what new customs I should come out with next. If that is somepony you would like to see me do, even if you don't want to buy it or know you can't afford it, don't be afraid to ask me to do it. If you're interested enough to ask, I'm sure someone else out there is interested enough to pay.

I am in my third week of really being a writer. I've been writing since I could construct stories on paper, yes, but I was never really a capital-W "Writer". For the past three weeks, I have been writing every single day, even if just a little bit, and I think that dedication and discipline is really going to make a difference.

I started this just as a way of pulling myself out of the depressed slump I was in after graduating college and having a miscarriage in January. And it didn't start with writing; at first the point was just to get me moving at a regular morning hour, something I felt was impossible before. I had always been a night owl, staying up all hours, and this caused me to have a very erratic sleep schedule that made it difficult to complete even the simplest homekeeping tasks. So as soon as I straightened out my sleep schedule, I started waking up at 8 AM (giving myself at least a half hour to hit the snooze so that I could wake up gradually), eating breakfast, riding my bike six miles out to Blanchard Park, and reading or writing there for a little while before coming back. Sitting outside in the cool morning air, looking out over the Econlockhatchee river, watching birds and the occasional alligator, and doing some people watching as well, and listening to the assorted chirpings and rustlings and shushings of the wilderness around me -- this proved extremely therapeutic, and especially productive. I could easily put out 500 words or more in an hour. After several days of this, I felt greatly renewed. Although in the first day or two I got very exhausted very early, sometimes falling asleep as early as 5 PM and waking at 2 or 3 AM. And in addition to this, I found myself with a much greater appetite, which was good, since lack of appetite is a sign that I'm depressed.

Work started interfering with my schedule a bit. One or two days a week, I had to work in the morning, waking up extra early to get in. I made it so that I could ride my bike a mile or two out to the bus stop and get a little writing in while waiting or while riding the bus. Then when I got home from work I would write some more. The next week I started volunteering for a non-profit writing camp, which required me to be out of the house around 7 AM. I did the same thing here, writing at the bus stop and on the bus, and writing when I got home. On the weekends, or any other day I don't work, I get up at 8 AM and either ride my bike, swim in the pool with my boyfriend, or (and I have yet to do this because of the gym's hours) lift weights.

So far, this light exercise/writing regiment is working out wonderfully. I feel better, as a person and as a writer, some of that crippling depression and anxiety is alleviated, and I'm getting real work done. Since it is summer, and many people are out of school or have more relaxed schedules, I would highly recommend making a "writing ritual" of your own. I would also recommend incorporating at least light exercise into your schedule, since this can help your mental state and warm you up for the day. Additionally, in the long run, you'll have more energy to last you through the day. Now that I'm seeing the benefits of this, I really wish I hadn't let whole summers waste away when I was in high school. I wish I had started a writing ritual then, put myself on a regular schedule like this.

But hey, at least I'm not waiting until I'm dead.

It's been a wild four days, since I logged in to find that "The Honesty of a Corpse" [link] received my first-ever DAILY DEVIATION! I'm FINALLY almost done thanking the 400+ deviants who it. The positive response was overwhelming, and was a much-needed boost of encouragement at the very moment I was starting to doubt my abilities as a writer. When friends and colleagues complimented my work on "Honesty", it was easy to dismiss this as simply flattery -- they were all my friends, they wouldn't say anything harsh about it anyway. But when I logged on to over 75 comments, many of which telling me how moved they were by my piece, or at least how speechless they were, my self-confidence was renewed.

And THEN, I wake up this morning to find that my 250-word flash-fiction piece, "The Treasure Map" [link] has been features in today's ! I can't wait to see the flood of messages I get from that!

Thank you for all the kind words and encouragement, that have been said and will be said. And don't forget, I still have work to do! If you enjoyed my stories, PLEASE check out the other pieces in my gallery: I need lots of feedback on some of them before they're ready to be sent out for publication.

On a side note, if you or someone you know is a student at the University of Central Florida, please check out my brand new group, !

I know this is going to be like ramming my head against a brick wall, but someone's gotta say it: Stop writing fan-fics.

Now before you get all defensive, hear me out. I'm not suggesting a War on Fan-Fics here. I'm not saying everyone should stop right this instant, and never visit the genre again. You may have to wean yourself off of them, it may take time. But if you don't overcome this addiction to other people's characters at some point, you'll never meet your potential as a writer.

There are a lot of benefits to fan-fics. I can't say I don't understand their appeal. You can tell a story and grab your audience, because you're working with characters they already know and love. You can explore plots that may have otherwise been impossible in these characters' "home universe", shipping Scooby Doo with your favorite Star Trek captain, or inserting Twilight Sparkle into the world of Pokemon. And it's so easy to get people to read these stories, and to write them with your friends, because everyone is on the same page: everyone knows who these characters are, and loves them.

So let me explain the problem to you: These are not your characters. The worlds are not of your creation.

I'm not making a copyright challenge here. I'm concerned about your ability to grow, as a writer, being stifled by this literary steroid. This is an intervention. This is me, pleading with you. Please, stop doing this to yourself. Stop stunting yourself as a writer.

Whenever you write a fan fiction, you rob yourself of an opportunity to create your own characters and invent your own worlds. Yes, perhaps fan-fics offer an opportunity to exercise your ability to craft a story and develop a plot, but that makes them little more than exercises. Like the shaded cube you drew for your first assignment in your 2-D art class, it isn't exactly something to display in a museum. If developing a plot is the only skill you have, you're a crippled writer. You are using a character that someone else molded, a world that someone else constructed, as a crutch.

Character and world creation is hard work, to be sure. The problem is, if you keep writing fan fictions, you'll never learn these skills yourself. And authors, movie-makers, and game developers around the world will forget these skills too, and keep making rehashed sequels with the same characters in the same worlds, because character and world creation is just so haaaaard.

And if you've been writing fan fictions for a really long time, and you're used to getting a lot of positive feedback, lots of readers and and , you're spoiling yourself. Because when you sit down write an original piece, you'll find the world is very different. Maybe two or three people will read it, rather than your usual 50-100 readers. And when they finish, they might not like your character all that much, or they might not find your world all that believable. And you'll find, in retrospect, you've limited yourself stylistically, because all your characters have the habits, mannerisms, and archetypes of all those anime characters you've written about for years. You've stained your writing with someone else's style, and it will take years for you to scrub yourself clean of it, to find your own voice in your own writing.

So do yourself a favor. Just stop writing fan-fics. Walk away from those characters you love so much, write a new, fully original piece, make it a habit to exercise your character development skills, and do it while you're still young.

I just received a 3-Month DeviantArt Subscription, and for the last couple hours I have just been going crazy, I'm so excited! Because now, I can actually give critiques -- and receive them as well! Since I'm requesting critiques on pieces I submitted a while ago, I just wanted to take a moment to highlight them, now that the critique feature is available on them.

But before I begin, I want to give a huge thanks to for his generosity. Here is someone who truly appreciates the art community. Thank you.

Liberty 314B Pt. I: TanglesSpirits were high in response to news that an Intercolonial Carnival had arrived at Liberty 314B that week. The orphans didn't have enough credits between them for the entrance fee, let alone for rides and food, but with Hans arriving that afternoon, they knew he would be coming with a plan. Lamp was waiting patiently with them, but he was not quite as enthused, his mind on other matters.

He sighed, gazing up at the Homeworld.

As the sun set on the horizon out beyond the shuttle docks, the sky turned a pale red and the Earth glowed above his head, a waning blue-green half-crescent just beyond the synthetic atmosphere. The sight of Earth fro Liberty 314B Part II: BraidsThe carnival was set up on an old-fashioned launch pad, the kind they used back on the Homeworld to launch the original NASA shuttles in the twentieth century. Back then, there needed to be miles and miles of secured acreage around the pad itself so that no one got burned up by the initial blast that was needed to launch a shuttle into outer space. After the United States dismantled the space program, space travel was slowly privatized and related technologies progressed much more rapidly than before. Lamp was a little confused about why any of the colonies would even have a launch area like this one, since the first colonies were built twent

I would like to start off with a two-part piece I wrote a while ago called "Liberty 314B", and hope to soon be ready to submit to some sci-fi magazines. It's not quite there yet, though, and I need more feedback.

This story actually has a very long history. The original version of this I wrote when I was still in middle school, and back then it was a Gundam Wing fan fiction about Duo Maxwell's childhood on a space colony. When I was trying to come up with an idea for something to write for my advanced fiction workshop in junior year of college, I came across this story in my filing cabinet, where I keep all the old hand-written manuscripts and half-baked stories I wrote when I was a kid. I cringed when I re-read it, but just under the surface, I could see the makings of a great original story. There were already several original characters in the story, and Duo's character was the only thing really keeping it from being completely original. So I salvaged it. The only detail remaining that might hint at the story's old form is that the character Lamp has long brown hair.

The two parts together come in at a whopping 9100 words, which is a bit too much for most literary journals. For the sci-fi magazine I'm interested in publishing it with, 8000 words would be acceptable, so I'm working on shaving it down. Other key concerns with this piece are the setting, and that the world Lamp and his friends live in just isn't fleshed out enough. It's bland and colorless, and not in a dystopian way. More like it's a rough sketch. But for what I have there for characters, I think they're sufficiently three-dimensional. The only problem as far as character development is that the change that occurs in Lamp by the end is too subtle.

One of the pieces of feedback I often get with this piece is that I should turn it into a novel. Indeed, the underlying political conflict present in the story and the children's world could make for an epic sci-fi tale. Perhaps some time in the future I'll tackle that project, but for now, I just want to see this short piece published.


IDEA GhettoEverything started to change when they dragged him in from the sandstorm. He wore a hot-colored jumpsuit, a color I didn't know the word for, that was bright and blinding to us. Everyone in the IDEA Ghetto was compelled to stare, but we could only look so long before the color strained our eyes and we had to look away, as if we were looking at the desert Sun.

The guards, who all wore blue jumpsuits and goggles just like ours, took him from our sight as quickly as possible. This was highly unorthodox, disruptive to our schedules, and heretical to all our teachings, and some of my Brothers and Sisters seemed clearly unsettled by this intrusion

IDEA Ghetto was inspired by writer, critic, and atheist Christopher Hitchens. I went to see a "God vs. Atheism" debate at my university, which was really a lot of fun. During the debate, Hitchens said (and I forget the exact context), "... like living in some kind of idea ghetto." I imagined a world in which people were isolated in small ghetto-like communities that each worshipped one single idea, or a small set of ideas.

This is the first allegorical piece I've written in a very long time, and I'm quite attached to it. It kind of follows some of the same themes as another story I wrote, back in 11th grade, called "Pet" [link] (inspired by an A Perfect Circle song of the same name). Though, since it doesn't have some of the more heavy sci-fi influences that would make it accessible to a sci-fi audience, and it's a little more abstract than what your average lit journal publishes, I'm kind of at a loss for what to do with it. But before I try to send it out anywhere, I still need more feedback on it so I can tweek it in a few places. I especially need to make sure that symbolism and overarching message isn't being completely lost on everyone.

Greg's GroceriesTechnically, I don't steal anything. It's not like I'm out at two in the morning robbing unsuspecting shoppers in the Wal-Mart parking lot. I'm not even shoplifting. No, I just steal people's groceries.

But no, it's not like that. I'm not actually stealing their groceries. I mean, they don't have any legal claim to them. The merch still belongs to the store. Just, when the shopper's not looking, maybe temporarily distracted by a newly constructed sale display or looking for the perfect cut of meat, I make off with their shopping cart.

It's best to get them when they're making their way toward the checkout lanes. The cart doesn't necessarily

The premise of this story came from my little writing idea notebook. I was feeling down and just wanted to write something good, so I was skimming through this notebook I keep for jotting down writing ideas. I came across the entry "guy who steals people's groceries." I wish I remembered where I got this idea from in the first place, but, oh well. Once I read this, I spent the entire day imagining up Greg and his life. After that, I was so excited to get down to writing. I had most of the story done in a day, but after a certain point I really had to push myself to finish it. It probably took me something like two weeks to get it where it is now.

"Greg's Groceries" is my latest piece, and I think it's just about where I want it to be. I'm at about 90% confidence with it, but I have yet to explore publications options. However, I'm still a little concerned about the ending. It has been very well received so far by all my friends who have read it, and many people on dA.

CH1: Arrival
Chapter 1: Arrival

I plopped down on my new bed in my new room in my new home. Little did I know that it would be the first real home I'd ever known.

My mother had been peacefully eager to bring me there. She knew I was a nutcase. She knew I had problems. She knew I needed help. I knew I did to, but not the way she had in mind. I don't think that, to this day, she realizes that my very own "family" was the whole problem. I was so screwed up because of them, as far as I was concerned.

I took a good look around my new living quarters. It was already occupied by a girl named Lindsay; as I had been informed earlier, she would be leaving the ne

Last but not least is "Seeking Shelter", which I wrote when I was 15. It's a non-fiction piece about my stay at a runaway shelter. Since I've been sitting on the story eight years, I think it's about time I seriously got around to working on this. I've just been avoiding it because it's such heavy stuff and I want to make sure I'm sufficiently distanced from it to make mature revisions. Right now, I only have critique enabled on the first part of it. I'll be enabling the critique function on the rest of it later.

So that's it for now. If you want to read something original and give some solid feedback, I welcome you to read and comment/critique any of these stories. In the meantime, I'll be working on a few other pieces... "Perfect Strangers Club" to enter in a contest, a memior piece about my very early experiences as a writer, and another story with the working title "The Toy Store" which will be a coming-of-age story about a gaggle of mall rats.

Look guys, I'm gonna be straight with you: me and subtlety don't get along very well. And if you've gotten a critique from me at any point, you've probably gleaned that. But I promise, it's not just me. If you want to be taken seriously as a writer, you can't pussyfoot around the whole point of your story. It doesn't work. Any lit journal worth it's salt will toss your manuscript in the trash if you wait until the last minute to reveal the information central to the plot of the story. Unless it's in the mystery genre, I guess... but it probably isn't, and you probably just think you're being clever. I'm gonna warn you right now, publishers don't think it's cute.

For You I Will: Short Story
For You I Will
By: Niq
Written: 6/5/2011

~***~

Mikasi leaned against the wall, waiting as patiently as he could. "How long does it take to try a pair of jeans on anyway?" he sighed. He looked at his watch and then folded his arms over his chest. It wasn't the shopping that he hated; it was the waiting while clothes were being tried on. That was what he got for offering to buy his sweetheart some new clothes.

"Sorry to make you wait," said a voice beside him. He looked over to see the smile that made the wait worth it.

"That's okay," Mikasi said with a fond smile, "so are we done, or is there something else?"

"You spoil me."

"Someone's

Now, with 's new story "For You I Will", I was actually planning on talking about techniques in characterization, but my critique got some unexpected backlash that changed my perspective on this piece.

First of all, this story is about a couple who, for whatever reason, can't go to their senior prom. They get in a little fight about it, but Misaki finds a way for them to be able to dance together at the end.

Other than the reason for not being able to go to prom not being clear by the end, my only other critique was that the characters needed to be fleshed out more, which I made several suggestions about how to do. Later on, I got a reply to my critique from :

"Uh... First of all; if you are going to give feedback on a piece you should read it more carefully! The reason Misaki and Jamie cannot go to the real Prom together is JAMIE IS A GUY; which is revealed at the end of the story, if you were paying attention. A lot of high schools will not allow a gay couple to attend Prom openly together... Please be a little more thoughtful the next time you offer feedback; you came across as very condescending."

I am not ignorant of the political issues faced by many gay youth in U.S. high schools. The only reason I thought Jamie was a girl was because the author chose to employ subtlety -- to the point that it disguised the entire point of his story. He intentionally avoided using the pronoun "he" to refer to Jamie, and selected a gender-neutral name, for the sole purpose of tricking the audience into thinking exactly what I thought. And at the end of the story, when ~akibara13 finally uses "he" to refer to Jamie, I thought it was just a typo.

I know ~chasingbutterfly thought I was just retarded for not getting the point of the story, but the fact is, I read the story almost exactly as ~akibara13 wanted me to. He clearly did NOT want me to know that Jamie was a guy until the very end. And it was a risk he was taking by making his "big reveal" such a subtle one. That's a risk you always take with using subtlety.

I'm not saying that you should never use subtlety. It can be used very artfully. But nine times out of ten, making your audience ask "WHY?!?!" through your entire story and making a big reveal at the end just doesn't work well at all. And if you want to be taken seriously by publishers, if you plan on sending your work out and making it in the writing world, your subtlety probably won't be well received.

Even if you're not writing professionally, even if you just want people to read your stuff, subtlety isn't a good way to go about doing things. If it weren't for the fact that this story was so short, I probably wouldn't have gotten more than half way through it before deciding it wasn't worth my time, simply based on the fact that I have no idea why Jamie and Misaki can't go to the prom together.

I had a subtlety problem when I started writing in college. I thought that was the way to go with my writing. I wanted to be nuanced and drown my stories in artful symbolism like Nathaniel Hawthorne. But it turns out, that doesn't go over so well. The reason we study these kind of writers in literature classes is because they employ those techniques masterfully. Subtlety is not for the faint of heart. Don't you remember all the boring analyses you had to do in your classes? All the essays you had to write explaining what the color of the lights meant in The Great Gatsby? And guess what? People STILL fight about what the authors "really meant" -- what do you think lit majors are doing all day? Ray Bradbury was so subtle about his social commentary on television, that millions of people still think Fahrenheit 451 was about censorship. This misconception enrages him!

It may just be something about our generation, something about the way our culture reads things. I mean think about it, how many people do you actually think have gotten this far in my journal entry? If you can't get your point across in 140 characters or less, this is not really the generation you want to be speaking to. Haven't you noticed how popular flash fiction has gotten? So called "6-Word Stories"? We simply don't have the patience for long diatribes that don't get to the point til the very end. We can hardly stomach a novel -- that's what movies and SparkNotes are for, right?

I wrote several stories for my classes that no one seemed to understand, because I was so fixated on being subtle. Looking back on those stories now that I know more about craft, I realize I would probably have to scrap them completely and start fresh in order to get my point across.

My point here is, subtlety isn't all it's cracked up to be. If you have something important to say in your story, such as confronting homophobia in public schools, it probably isn't worth hiding under subtlety. Just come out and say it.